Here Isn't The News

Here Isn't The News is a new television program in Georgeland. Loosely based on the British show Have I Got News For You, Here Isn't the News is a weekly panel show where news topics are discussed and various 'games' played, between two teams of two guests each. While points are awarded, there is little value to them, and they are awarded on an arbitrary basis. The topical discussion is usually secondary to the humour and banter between guests and host.

2005 Debut
The pilot for the show was produced in 2000, but not picked up by any network. In 2004, the Georgeland Broadcasting Corporation announced it would commission a run of twelve episodes for its 2005 schedule, but this scheduling was pushed back. On October 14, 2005, the show began its run on the GBC, and immediately proved a big success. After eight episodes, the GBC announced a complete, year-long run, which began in March 2006. The show will return for another complete run in March 2007.

Format
HITN is a panel game/quiz show, with two teams, each consisting of a team captain and one guest. For the first series, the team captains are comedian Neil Hobbes and journalist-turned-humourist Kevin Teal. The host of the show, comedian Robin Edmonds, keeps order and announces proceedings, but then usually allows his guests and panellists to 'run amok'.

Games
Name That Pratt, where a political figure or other celebrity is shown in a photograph doing something silly or hunmourous, but with the face blanked out, and panellists must guess the subject of the photo.

'Missing Words, lifted straight from the British version, where panellists fill in the blanks from headlines seen during the week. For example, in the edition broadcast on November 25, the headline read "PARKER TO SINGAPORE: DON'T _________ AUSTRALIAN", to which Hobbes wittily suggested the missing word was 'miss'.

Captions, where a photograph is provided and panellists are asked to provide a caption.

Buzz Off, a quick-fire buzzer round where panellists buzz in to answer news-related questions posed by Edmonds. Correct answers are rarely given. Example: In the November 18 edition, Edmonds asked the question "For what crime was Gary Glitter under investigation this week in Vietnam", and panellist Leroy Hunt responded 'His Music'.

Mastermind: One player from each team (usually the captain), 'quizzes' the other member of his team on a bizarre and obscure topic, sometimes but not always relating to a news story. Neither team member has access to the answers to the questions, and so the game usually descends into a series of quick jokes about a subject.

Guests
Listed first are the guests from Hobbes' team, followed by Teal's guest.

2005 season
1. (Oct 14) Ben Yaxley and Owen Sinclair 2. (Oct 21) Elizabeth Sharkey and Stephen Morris 3. (Oct 28) Madeline Woods and Leroy Hunt 4. (Nov 4) Leroy Hunt and Barry Tighe 5. (Nov 11) Arthur Daley-Tyne and Ben Yaxley 6. (Nov 18) Leroy Hunt and Moira Jansen 7. (Nov 25) Nathan Kellerman and Jon Yates 8. (Dec 2) Adam Eckles and Trent Laramie

2006 season
1. (Mar 17) Leroy Hunt and Madeline Woods 2. (Mar 24) Bill Bailey and Julia Moffatt 3. (Mar 31) Ross Noble and Sandra Wood 4. (Apr 7) Keith Briggs and Phil Drescher 5. (Apr 14) Rod Lasser and Louise Fenchurch 6. (Apr 21) Deborah Rhodes and Will Gater 7. (Apr 28) Joan Rivers and Julia Moffatt 8. (May 5) Simon Shaffer and Robyn Harriman 9. (May 12) Luke Macaulay and Dylan Moran 10. (May 19) Damien Lewis and Rebecca Monroe 11. (May 26) Jim Cryer and Juliette Tucker 12. (June 2) Madeline Woods and Robert Leak 13. (June 9) Barbara Mathers and Julia Moffatt 14. (June 16) John Kay and Ross Noble 15. (June 23) Fletcher Madden and Duncan Fairbairn 16. (June 30) Campbell Rhodes and Emma Chiltern 17. (July 7) Duncan Fairbairn and Will Ferrell 18. (July 14) Jasmine Margoyles and Eddie Izzard 19. (July 21) Jim Cryer and Ben Elton 20. (July 28) Tim Gainsler and Ross Noble 21. (August 4) Shawn Montgomery and Thomas Nathan 22. (August 11) Peter Khan and Suzie Walker 23. (August 18) Stephen Prentice, Nicole Barry and Jay Hunt ''Edmonds was unwell when the show was taped. Neil Hobbes hosted the show, with Hunt replacing him as team captain.'' 24. (August 25) Ben Leech and P.J. O'Rourke 25. (September 1) Madeline Woods and Stephen Connelly 26. (September 8) Lily Tomlin and Bruce Owens 27. (September 15) Peter Khan and Joanne Mitchum 28. (September 22) John Leahy and Leonard Hand 29. (September 29) Jesse Valiant and Helen Frame 30. (October 6) Arj Barker and Julia Moffatt 31. (October 13) Wil Anderson and Simon Rogers 32. (October 20) Das Singh and Luke Macaulay 33. (October 27) Liam Sims and Peter Getty 34. (November 3) Tim Gainsler and Jim Cryer

2006 Christmas Special
Here Isn't Christmas A special, 90 minute edition. The teams consisted of three players, two guests per side. On Teal's side were Jim Cryer and Julia Moffatt; Hobbes' side had Campbell Rhodes and Madeline Woods. Ross Noble and Ben Yaxley were 'special guests' in the "Celebrity Mastermind" round, in which Moffatt and Rhodes had to ask the 'guests' questions about subjects neither one knew the answers to. The show aired on December 22. Much humour was derived from Rhodes and Woods, politically opposite, sharing the same team.

2007 season

 * 1) (Mar 16) Robert Leak and Peter Khan
 * 2) (Mar 23) Joanne Gibbons and Mark Duffy
 * 3) (Mar 30) Weird Al Yankovic and Madeline Woods
 * 4) (Apr 6) Archbishop Francis Pollard and Archbishop Simon Breville

Most Appearances

 * Julia Moffatt and Madeline Woods are tied for the most appearances on the programme, at five appearances each. Ross Noble has totalled four appearances, making him the runner-up.

Robin Edmonds

 * "Prime Minister Zoe Parker is flying off to Malta for the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting. That's C.H.O.G.M., which also stands for Classy Holiday On Government Money"


 * "Mrs. Parker met with the new German Chancellor, Angela Merkel. Merkel is described as Germany's Margaret Thatcher. Only without the penis."


 * "France is in flames, with thousands of French people rioting against the French government. A French government spokesman says he doesn't understand why people are being destructive to others. Here's an idea: it's because they're FRENCH!"

Kevin Teal

 * "The Princess of Japan, right, got married to a commoner, and now she has to relinquish her royal title. Bloody hell - that's bad news for my wife. She's the Queen of Brazil."

General
Hobbes: "That's about right, isn't it? It's like the kid who drops the baby on its head because he was trying to help."
 * Teal: "I don't understand why the Americans don't say to the Iraqis: hey, guys, we're only trying to help."


 * Edmonds: American Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was subjected to protests in which English city this week?
 * Hobbes: Liverpool.
 * Edmonds: Correct. Not funny, but correct.
 * Ross Noble: Not funny? Well, neither's Liverpool.


 * Hobbes: I think it's sad that Sam Richardson didn't find out how many friends he had until he died.
 * Teal:: I think it's even sadder that one of them was Condoleeza Rice. I mean, what psycho college mixer did he meet her at?


 * Edmonds: Two miners were finally released from their cage nearly a kilometer underground in Beaconsfield, Australia. Neil, what was their first thought upon exiting the mine?
 * Hobbes:: Oh, shit. Still in Australia.
 * Teal: The TARDIS wasn't working properly that day...

(later in the same show)
 * Edmonds: Does anybody remember when politicians used to be interested in social change and the betterment of their society?
 * Hobbes:You just made that up!
 * Teal:A politician interested in betterment of society? You are full of it, aren't you, Rob?
 * Hobbes:He's just bitter because he can't get Maddy to sleep with him.
 * Madeline Woods:Hey, I resent the implication that he's the best I could do!
 * Teal:I'm really sorry Zoe Parker got divorced, but politicians don't need personal lives! They can get free sex whenever they want it...
 * Madeline Woods: Someone tell Robin that! He'll run for office!
 * Hobbes: Yeah, Maddy, but he might end up in the office next to yours...
 * Teal: Drilling holes in the wall...


 * Teal: You've got two politicians on your side; one good, one evil.
 * Campbell Rhodes: Which of us is the evil one?
 * Madeline Woods: I think he was referring to you there.
 * Campbell Rhodes: Well, I'll take that. But if Edmonds tries to get it on with me the way he tries it on with you, someone's getting hurt.
 * Hobbes: If he wanted to get it on with you he'd need drug testing.
 * Campbell Rhodes: As opposed to anybody wanting to get it on with you, who need electro-shock therapy.
 * Hobbes:Yeah, that's fair.

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