Campbell Rhodes

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The Hon. Campbell Peter Rhodes, BJ, MP (b. June 30, 1963) is a Georgeland politician and former journalist who is the current Prime Minister of Georgeland. On July 7, 2005, Rhodes announced his retirement from politics, though there is speculation he may one day return. Rhodes is the youngest Prime Minister in Georgeland's history. He is also the first bachelor (though he is now married), the first avowed athiest, the first to be Prime Minister three times and (possibly) the first to be dismissed from office by the President. He is also the first Prime Minister to represent more than one political party, having been a member of three during his time in office.

Rhodes became Prime Minister on October 20, 1995 and served three seperate periods in office. The first ended on May 13, 1999. The second ran from June 9, 1999 to August 1, 2001, and the third from August 14, 2001 and is expected to end on July 31, 2005.

Retirement
On 7 July 2005, speaking to the Liberal Democrat party conference, Rhodes announced he would step down when his replacement was elected by the party. After the first round of voting in the party room, Zoë Parker and Andrea Perkins were selected to fight it out for the leadership with rank-and-file party members. Rhodes has so far remained neutral on the leadership question, refusing to speak publicly on it. His support for Parker, however, is somewhat of an open secret among Topstad insiders.

Trivia
• Rhodes has a strict rule – nobody in the office works on their birthday. This rule applies to him as well, although he was too busy to take his 40th birthday off. • Rhodes frequently forgoes the state dining room to take visiting dignitaries to Topstad restaurants – he and Chinese premier Li Peng once ate dinner in a Chinese restaurant on Republic Avenue.
 * The first time Rhodes spoke in public was at a Star Trek convention in the mid-seventies, when he asked William Shatner whether it was true he wore a wig.
 * Rhodes’ gambling problem was real. He once lost $15,000 at a high-stakes poker game. Another time he lost his apartment, but won it back with a straight flush.
 * Rhodes is a poker champion, having won three amateur tournaments. He thought about playing professionally, but no longer gambles at all, lest it go too far.
 * At University, Rhodes had a reputation as a practical joker. He once convinced his lecture to walk out en masse and to surprise the lecturer in her office later that day. The lecturer nearly had a heart attack after opening her door to a crowd of eighty people. The penchant for pranks continued into his term of office; he regularly plays April Fools tricks on the public, including once proclaiming a bill to change the national language to Portuguese.
 * Rhodes also plays golf, although by his own admission he isn’t very good. He once played in a celebrity tournament for charity while Opposition Leader, against Jim Cryer and Sam Carnell of The Bandits. He came dead last.
 * Rhodes has a signed photo of Paul McCartney on his office wall.
 * He annoys his staff by frequently playing rock & roll on his office sound system at deafening volumes. Speaker Janet Morris, whose office was down the hall, once threatened, as head of the Department of Parliament, to have his stereo removed. He responded by playing her favourite song the next day.

Quotes From
“Politics isn’t about self-interest. It’s about national interest. But sometimes they overlap.”

“Not all politicians are liars. All are politicians, though, and sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference.” - Editorial column in 1990.

“I’m not sure I have the brains, courage or stamina to be Prime Minister. I’m not even sure I have them to be an average guy.” - While President of SCU Student Council

“I look forward to the day when no man or woman need fear for the safety of their loved ones…” - Speech to the Saydneyan Congress, 2003, on nuclear prohibition.

"I freely admit that there are some characters within the Liberal Party that act in a less-than-honest way. I'm not going to let it occur and I swear now to rout it out no matter what the cost.” - Radio interview, 2002

At a CHOGM meeting in Durban in 1999, Rhodes spent a brief period mingling with his British and Canadian counterparts, Tony Blair and Jean Chrétien. When the British PM complimented Rhodes on his tie, Rhodes replied, “I’d like to say it represents the bright hope of the Commonwealth, but really it represents my dark one being at the back of the rack.”

When meeting with then-Japanese Prime Minister Keizo Obuchi in 2000, the Japanese leader offered sake to his guest. “This is a delicacy in my country,” he said. Rhodes replied, deadpan, “we don’t have any delicacy in my country; that’s how I got to be Prime Minister.” As they were speaking through interpreters, and the pun doesn’t translate well, Keizo had no idea what Rhodes was on about, or why his aides laughed.

“This is the thing to remember about reporters. They are all slimy, weasley, money-grabbing, cynical, used-car-salesman types. I know this because I used to be one myself.”

“The first rule of politics is never to take any shit from anyone,”

“They said I was too young to be a senior reporter. They said I was too young to be Editor. They said I was too young to be an MP. They said I was too young to be a Minister. They said I was too young to be Prime Minister. To them, I say, I will still be Prime Minister when you’re buried in your grave. To them, I say, you’re never too young, so long as you’re prepared.”

Quotes About
“Some men suffer fools gladly. He gladly makes fools suffer.” – Former minister John Randall.

“He is the embodiment of ‘Rock Star’ politics…I often wonder if Lennon was his mentor.” - Wendy Hamilton

“As sons of bitches go, he’s not as bad as some.” - Ex-Conservative MP Giles Cohen

“I am proud to have served under the two greatest Prime Ministers in our history,” - Leonard Hand

“He’s only paranoid because everyone’s plotting against him." - Matthew Walsh

“He won’t change the world, but he’ll die trying.” - Wendy Hamilton

“[Rhodes] operates from the false principle that people are inherently good. The truth of the matter is that people are inherently evil, and he can’t see that, blinded as he is by principle and a dogmatic devotion to the betterment of mankind.” - Journalist R. E. Hogan

“He will always follow his conscience.” - Ex-secretary Nate Howard

“He gave this country exactly what it needed – a pat on the back and a kick in the teeth.” - Noel Quarton

“I was more qualified than he was to be Prime Minister, but I get the impression nothing could have stopped him. He has the ability to walk through the barriers that stop everyone else.” - Jim King. “He is one of the great modern statesmen…” - British Foreign Secretary Robin Cook, 1998

“Australia has one good friend in Georgeland and another in its Prime Minister,” - Australian PM Paul Keating, in Topstad in 1995

"Prime Minister Rhodes is as evasive as he is straightforward, as cunning as he is obvious, the perfect diplomat, politician and negotiator an international statesman of the highest calibre and a fascinating enigma of world affairs" - Saydneyan President Marc Emerson, 1996

" Prime Minister Rhodes is the most infuriating man ever to set foot in the halls of power; by the time you shake his hand at an official greeting he has figured out how to get what he wants from you in six different ways with time left to spare to ponder the meaning of life" - Saydneyan Foreign Minister Blair Hatfield, 2001